If People Acted Like They Do on Dating Apps Hardly Working

(Upbeat music) (playful music) - Hi. What is it? What's with the winking? Okay, I don't get this. - Hey, have a good weekend? - Oh, yeah, it was great, how about you? Did you have a good weekend? Did I do something wrong? You're gone, what happened? - So then we went ice skating, which was so much fun
for everybody besides me. I fell and needed 10 stitches.

- Ooh, yeah that sucks, see you later. - Okay bye. - Wanna fuck? - What, no, who are you? - Wanna go to Dave and Buster's tonight? - Oh yeah, that sounds fun. - Actually, I'm not into it.

- What, you just asked me. - Sorry, you're just too needy. - You asked me, me! - Wanna work on our presentation at two? - Yeah, uh, I should
tell you that I'm working on a few projects with
other coworkers, too. - Yeah that's fine, I am too.

- What, ew, I do not like
coworkers that get around. - But you're working
with other people, too. - Sorry, I don't think
this is gonna work out. - You blocked me? - So the character is
a seventh level wizard, third level sorcerer with
10 levels of ultimate magus, but remember they're a gnome,
so they're actually treated as being one lever higher
in terms of sorcery.

- Bring me a new friend. - Yeah okay, so I went to
Sephora and I asked them "do you have this color?" And they were like "no"
and I was like "what?" And they were like "uh"
and I was like "what?" And they were like "um"
- Next. - So I have tickets to Hamilton
tonight if you wanna go. - Hamilton.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. - What, what is it? - Fuckin' bitch.
- What? - Dick pic, here, enjoy. Hey Raf, good morning buddy, have a picture of my dick, there you go. - I don't want this.

- Oh I don't care, I just
like giving them out. Dick pic, who wants one,
I have plenty, dick pics. - As you can see, if everyone meets their first quarter goals,
then we'll all get bonuses. Wait, where'd everyone go? (Crowd murmurs)
(laughing) - Sorry, yeah, we all
got upgraded to a special secret version of life
for famous/hot people.

- So what, I'm just supposed
to hang out here by myself? - I'll see you in a second. Oh no, I can fix that, um,
yeah, here's a bunch of bots. - I'm lonely.
- Be my friend. - Follow me.
- Send money.

- [Man] Get out of here, what? - Be my friend.
- Follow me. - Send money.
- Be my friend. (Camera clicks) - Hi, I'm Rekha from College Humor. Click here to subscribe, click
here for other fun stuff, and thank you so much for watching.

I love my job and I'm definitely
not trapped in this video. (Breathes) Things are great..