SHE ATE MY BEST FRIEND!Shark Dating Simulator - Part 2

*Wapoosh* top of the morning to you laddies, my name is jacksepticeye and welcome back to shark dating simulator XL. I'm assuming it stands for extra-large, but what do I know? It could stands for Xenos lobsters for all I care. This is underwater shark sexing simulator. That's all I care about, so okay Let's try this shizzle again Wetsuit integrity: ah-check Regulator correctly attached: ah-check Flask of hot coffee..

That's a check on the board of discovery right there!!! Think I'll take a belt of that now, just unscrew the top You can't drink coffee underwater. What are you fucking moooron? Nah shit there. It goes should have thought that one through better. I did I am the one that's in control Let me be the brain Well, I don't need caffeine to be my - to be on my a-game.

Let's explore That's not true. That's not true. I need caffeine Heavily to be on my a-game, in fact Get a fucking red bull going Oh yeah Give me them juices. Give me that, give me that power that energy, even though energy drinks don't do literally anything to me except give me the shits so, I just like the taste Oh god almighty, that was scary I kind of want to go peer under the rock, but the last time I did that somebody said "SUCK ON-A MAH BALLS" So I don't know if I want to talk to him again or just Let's let's find out, I want to see if there's some other characters lurking around Okay, fingers crossed, lift the rock up gently..

SUCK ON MAH BALLS. GODDAMMIT! GARY! Fuck sake, get outta here, man! Seriously? SUCK ON MAH BALLS. You know, I really don't feel like taking this from a friggin slug SUCK. ON.

MAH. Oh, that does it What's wrong with you and sucking on balls? Drop the rock and crushed the little bastard. Oh no! I don't want to kill him *Laughs* He's hilarious. SUCK ON MAH- oh! My word You know nobody has ever bothered to ask before.

I go out about you know Trying to help people by telling them the secret of the balls! Never a word of thanks of course. At first I was erudite I would earnestly plead with passers-by to listen to the esoteric tale I had to tell, you know, about sucking up balls They would just drift pass, nobody had time for the words of a slug. In an attempt to appeal to them I started to use a simpler vocabulary I thought, maybe my words were simply too manifold for the others to understand maybe the syntax of my quantifications was going over the complexities of the human brain psyche, but still the goddess Tyche Refused to smile upon the endeavors of a simple sle-sea slug Oh, but my heart My heart was broken and once where it was a cornucopia of love for my fellow creatures now It was merely a shattered relic where barely dicks, uh,  the strength to pitter-pat Man, Gary, you've been through a lot, bro I, did I never knew I didn't know any of this yeah? Yet somewhere in my slug soul, I held out hope that one day someone would care, alas, my respect for my peers intelligence had all but gone So I reverted to simple shock tactics language of the click baiter and the gutter press He knows. He knows that if you put down 'suck on my balls' as a title people will click (*cough* the paul brothers) I reduced my cry to a simple appeal To suck on a my balls Even this had no effect I never stopped to tell people of the secret of the balls had become my only praise on detre (Moral: suck on his SPAGHETT) And now you have come! Finally, somebody wants to know of the balls.

Settle down my friend, it's like this (I don't know about you, but I sure as hell don't wanna know about the balls-_-) Yeah, I stopped carring about six minutes ago bYE. If if you want it if you want to get your point across Okay, I'm a busy man. I have stuff to do I have places to be, I have people to kill (*heyy anti*) so you're gonna have to shorten it down into 20 words or less Okay? Enough of this monologuing! No.. Wait, please! I've carried this burden for over a week now Well? The bars are balls of sexual desire..

In ball form The more you collect the more sexuality you will have! Balls make it easier for you to woo women Let's let's take a reminder here, reminder fact check these are fish balls Not only am I lOVE balls, but smelly fish balls (no thank chu) They will find a man with a multitude of balls irresistible What about the people who don't have balls, or need balls, or want balls? How the heck does that work? How should I know? I just work here. I hate you. I know (Here lies Gary 2018-2018, rest in fish balls) Let's check out the wreck. Okay.

Let's see about getting in here this time *laughter* poor Gary (#ripgary) (@comment section) Only wanted to do was SUCK ON A MAH BALLS. He never, he never fulfilled his destiny There's this door, but it seems to be wedged somehow, must be some way in She's back! Baka! So! Again he returns, as bold as brass! Woah Explain to me what that what you didn't understand yesterday BAKRRA. I-well-I hardly know where to start I meant about telling about me telling you not to come back, imbecille Han tou baka(?). You dare to come back after boop-bopping me on the snoot? That's what you have to do to every animal, you gotta boot the snoot Ooh, you've got a lot of nerve! Oh, I got balls! Shit, I skipped a thing, I keep thinking I have to click on my balls *looks down wondering about the deeper meaning of SUCK ON MY BALLS" ...In the game.

I was afraid you were gonna eat me. I was going to eat you! Well then, how can you blame me? Murray sorry I bopped you on your snoot. I'm really sorry. I did a Bop on the snoot er Tron I hope it didn't hurt.

That's okay now You think my snoot looks okay? Sure, it looks fine *ahhhHHHHH* You think I'm fiNE?? I meant... *Shark Chan's high pitched voice* fiNE as in a cutie-pieeeee? *Jams out to gr8 music* I mean I didn't know about that sure why not Oh me oh my, Its been it's been so long! (For what) *Singin somethin in Shark Chan's voice for a few seconds* Do you know Senpai, nobody has called me fiNE for years and years They used to. Building sites soldiers my stepfather drunken married men and seedy bars What did you get into all of these? You're a shark. You'll DIEE.

I was greatly admired I do miss it so Did you step-father? Wait yeah wait hold on let's let's fish reverse it here for a second your stepfather used to woo you Now you can make me feel special again well *cough cough* No problem *takes a triumphant swig* It's what I do, baby (for sure) Oh, I feel like a little girl again! How can i help you  Senpaaiiiiii What hold on what you're saying are you telling me you weren't always a shark (ShOoK) Of course not silly ol senpai. I used to be a sweet little maid (EvEn MoRe ShOoK) So what happened huh senpai you can stop that you don't get a lady's life story out of her that Easily if you want to know what about me. You'll have to take me on a date (Dun DUN) Oh go God, what? There is a new bar and grill just opened about a half a nautical mile from here I want you to take me there be there tomorrow at 7:00 Okay, I'll be there yes. I.

(Don't tell Wiishu^_-) Know you will because if you're not I'll kill you Okay, okay. Calm down shark Chan yes So no need to worry What fun see you tomorrow somebody? Yeah, goodbye for now let us only say au revoir Well I've gotten into some scrapes before but this probably takes the cake still I supposed to that it's not the worst date prospect I've ever had either. I guess I had better report back to Marina this game so fucking weird *Laughs* I Mean, what do they expect out of a game called shark dating simulator XL oh? That's good shit marina bring that back oh hey boobs You're back and empty-handed oh My god, I think I'm going to hurl well You know what marina in Ireland hurling is a sport hit ball a stick That's called hurling so if you're gonna hurl formaiities get out there and smack that sister with the her No, it's okay. I have a solid lead this time Ruby Singh.

Here's a solid lead this time You know English is heard especially in written form you Never really know what they're saying and lead is solid, so I'm at a great white shark and it talks Just like you said and tomorrow. I have to take it on a date What the literal fuck are you talking about? I'm going on a date with it. It's gonna. Tell me.

What's up? I think it used to be a human You really are a piece of work? Do you know that? All I wanted was you to bring me back a talking fish. I didn't ask you to strike up a relationship with one Yeah, well you know what marina not all of us are emotionally dead inside, okay? Not all of us paid for our boob jobs that our own emotions and became a fucking emotionless otamatone What's wrong with you? It's like you either bring me back Nothing at all or you do something resoundingly retarded whoa okay marina. It's 2018 Champions of that kind of language you can't be talking to me like that okay, I am out here marina. I'm out here Tryin to make 2018 a good year for us For all of us keeping that PMA the positive mental attitude You come here calling me retarded Not cool marina not cool hashtag no no marinas (#NonoMarinas) Now look here marina.

I think I deserve a bit more credit here I'm getting to the bottom of this whole fish Deal like you wanted And I'm taking a lot of risk to do it just whatever man This makes another day of boat hire. That's gonna finish off the budget. I had for this whole trip You would better make sure you don't mess this up tomorrow is your last chance if you goof it again Forget ever getting paid for this gig forget it *phew*                   *laughs* Love that exit annimation. It's the best She sure does love to bust my balls Yeah, I got fucking balls for it though big old steel ball bearings out here now how am I ever gonna be able to fit? Out the door my balls this big! Doesn't happen every time I mention the word balls Guess not funny hey better rest up and find out if wearing a tire with a wet suit is feasible my god We need money.

Why did eight doesn't need money a fresh date Sure, hope they accept my Discover card All I know is if it's between marina or a shark I would gladly Be eaten by the shark not even dated I rarely rather just be eaten by the shark at this point and talk to marina again that night. I toss and turn I. Racked my brain for what you should bring a shark on a date. I mean I can't go without some kind of date gift right might I suggest fish What should I bring whoo? I know a juicy dripping ham.

I know a nice posy of flowers I know nothing This is how you go home alone? Forever and never have prospects of anything I'm gonna go with the dripping ham Although she was human before Maybe she liked the flowers, but flowers won't go up dripping ham I? Know the way to a shark's heart. Okay. It's through the mouth and down past the stomach When you're trying to impress her big oil predator, you can't go wrong with a ham Thanks dad who knew what that little pearl of wisdom you told me would actually come in handy someday come in HAM-dy someday (Slow clap) Thanks. I'll be here all night.

That'll be 19.50 For that joke I just thought you were talking balls Am I gonna get balls for saying it? Yes three balls. Oh there. It is again BALLS! BALLS!!!!!!! But just works when I'm not trying I guess well better get some shut-eye before the bubbles do that thing again *Laughter* this game is awesome Twelve balls everybody that probably requires a doctor He'll see half a nautical mile from the wreck If only I knew with the fuck a nautical mile was but somehow. I reckon this has to be the place oh *Jams out to even gr8er music* Yes, well I've seen some messed up junk in my time those pretty well takes the ships biscuit thought it took a cake Hello there senpai! I thought you were gonna be late.

I thought you were going to be late for a moment there, but you're Late *Blows raspberries* As if yep, Oh Oh, she's looking at me that way again I think this is the point of the evening race was a season in charming come on you can do this oh Crap this one's even in the fucking frame. Hey, you look a couple of pound lighter No, no, that's terrible the moon sure does go into beautifully off your teeth No, and any woman I've ever met never wants you to compliment their teeth or any human for that matter How about we skip dinner and just have a quickie in the toilets? Oh? Well fuck these are all ass Okay, what kind of pickup lane with the shark like? *Contemplates descisions...* ...Teeth... (That can't be good) Thank god, I got to ball today. Do you really think so well sure? (What the hell man..O.O) Fucking eat me man.

They looks like Like like rows and rows of Stanley knife blades embedded in bubble gum that's been outside of the pavement Nailed it  romance (um ok SHORE thing) (I'll go home) oH You chARMER! You ALWAYS know what to say, Senpai Come on don't forget I'm a voracious eating machine! I'm gonna refer to myself as that from now on I'm a voracious eating machine. I need time I go to a restaurant they ask sir What would you like are you hungry enough with the steak? I'm a voracious eating machine, and they're like say no more, and then they bring out the fuckin half Cowell steak Excited hungry, let's see oh my god. What the hell is that he's our waiter He's a blobfish right maybe senpai either that or he's just returned preternatural a ghastly I. Don't know about that reason, okay? Good evening madame! I mean you're not fucking wrong (how rude) good evening ...

Sir. Can I show you to your rock? (Wth) Thank you. Would you care to see the wine list? Oh, Yes perhaps.. Sir, would you care to order Doing that voice you gonna make me sick- to order the wine? Dear, this isn't really my strong suit This is my blue suit Hmm wine list Shiraz deep red notes of wood smoked and bramble fruits Sancerre.

Right gooseberry aromas crisp finish Thunderbird 5 generations of winos campy bruh, huh Go for the Thunderbird go for the merlot nice deep Now it gives a nice fragrant note wafts up into your nostrils really reminds you of the blood Inside our veins once again once more. That's what the shark could like the deep inky black redness After Shiraz, but the sure is the Merlot that's the one I said I know wine shut up. Who's in here trying to fault me How dare I know my wines like a fine Red Bull (what even is this game at this point) Hmm vanilla top notes really listen the palate um Shiraz Ah um we'll have the Sheruz please. Hmm the Shiraz sir? Yeah some of that very good, sir OOO a red wine! You must be a very sophisticated man You know me sophistication coming out of my ass.

I bet you smoke a pipe and occasionally allow yourself a sensible chuckle I do that. *Changes to that one meme guy* I do that (heh I love that vine) HELL YES 16 balls pretty sure Im only supposed to have two All these other ones are probably growths Should definitely get checked out after this Well, I happen toot  own two to the odd bong. That's true Sophisticated man like you would certainly bring a lady a present when you took her on a date It's very presumptuous of you oh Yes, I almost forgot. I was looking this massive hammer out OOOOOOO a Ham! I do lOVEa HaM.

How thoughtful of you. *Cue stuffing face with food noise* what a delightful little starter Thank you good, sir God she devoured that meat in seconds But she called it a starter if that giant piece of meat doesn't even satisfy her We're in trouble I'm glad you liked it It wasn't easy to get ahold of pretty hard to slip a thing like that into your raincoat without the store detective spotting you Did you steal it? Oh you you are the joker. I mean. I'm no mark hamill, but hello bats What okay say bait? Let's get down to business To defeat the Huns, *sings* let's get down to business to defeat the Huns Mysterious as the Dark Side of the Moon? (That's Mulan for any of you uncultured Swine) Oh god.

I love that song. Yes more Disney references Wanted to know why fish talk around here, is that not so. Oh yes. I guess I did the Mooresville oh Thanks ago well its a whooping big secret But something tells me I can trust you with it I used to be human and no meals Oh God get out of here Jesus put a mask on wait we didn't get to order those We only serve one thing so seafood because he says whoever the fifth one is to move this morning represent the dish of the day SUCK Nooooooooo GARY NOOO.

(#Ripgary again) (@comment section) SaUCK ON MY. Oh hey. It's you again. Small world ain't it? Or anything else I can eat.

He keeps talking about balls all the time. It's not good for my keto diet Whoa if you know what I'll have it. I'm famished Yeah, that's fine No, you can't eat Gary. He's my best friend Yeah, great.

Talk about me like I'm not here. Well. I'm a person too. I deserve respect I.

Have a name you know, it's- NO she ate him! That's horrible! *Mourns the death of gary, who wants you to suck on his balls* Gary no Tasty I'll see your nostril it's like a sperm Just saying some people would say tadpole because you know fish frogs well, that's probably hold on phibian theme going on here No straight up sperm Well then it tastes like please say balls, please say balls Like when you Hawk a wicked Lukey, but then swallow it again good. Oh, yeah, I know what you mean sadly I do I used to be a human girl. I used to be a human girl in fact. It was a fish scientist No Does that mean marina could have turned into one? I graduated the University of fish studies oh? No, shit, my boss is one of those sue she's the one who sent me down here to work out What was going on? There's a conspiracy afoot? Jet fuel can't melt steel sharks, what's she like? Big hooters and a crappy attitude.

Oh yes she soundds very typical All the fish scientists girls have big hooters, you won't get anywhere in fish science if you don't You heard it here first folks you're gonna be coming to an avid fish scientist big hooters are watching he'd oh although.... There was this one girl... Well, laying down you could have used her for a spirit level Anyway point is after I graduated I came convinced the human and fish DNA were more closely linked than we thought I got a job a board a research vessel called the golden fin and aboard that ship I started my life's work a potion that could turn humans. Into FISH and FISH into HUMANS.

Like that before right said by wait, please. I mean marinas actually like a fish in human form I think I once rented this movie with Aaron Paul in it yo bitch Concentrated mixture, but it wasn't quite perfected, but then disaster disaster The gullet fit sick Why what happened? I don't know Legend says that the captain just didn't like it very much But I was trapped aboard The water was rising. I thought it was the end, but my solution tank was breached You know she's just hate that man You're out in the water. You're having a good time solution tank breached My god such a high concentration of the formula.

I was turning into the fish that most closely matched my DNA. Kendrick Lamar, I thought I got I got I got my royalty inside my DNA a great white shark When the formula cut out for the ocean it was weaker But still able to convert simple fish brains into partly human ones so now they can all talk yeah that make sense (ofc it does dur) Yeah, I know I'm no scientist. I'm a whale biologist but That sound that makes that makes perfect sense since that day. I have been working to recreate my formula It's been really hard just having fins and joke It's ready I have oh You can help me turn back into a real girl name.

No can do Pinocchio me Babe I will make it totally worth your while Mm-hmm you got it Come on let's ditch the bill and get back to the golden fin very nice. I'll race you you're a shark It's like me going that 100 meter sprint and same to Usane Bolt come on First one then the finish line wins I race, yeah You got it And just like that gone into the ether checkpoint Okey-dokey smoky Loki. I think that does it for now for another excellent shark fish Sexing up adventure. I think we've all learned a lot here today marina possibly a fish or at least she knows what's going on and She only got to where she is cause she's got two big hooters You know asses be hooters owls owls are huge hooters That's all they do um And we also learned that shark chan Whatever her real name is used to be a human and now we can turn her back into a hot, babe find out next time on a Wonderful summer blossom, but for now thank you guys so much for sharking with me this time if you liked it Punch that like button in their face LIKE A BOSS, and High-Fives all around *whapoosh whapoosh* but thank you guys and see all you dudes In the next video! (Subtitles brought to you by @Ana) (god these took awhile).