Key & Peele - Dating a Biracial Guy

 - 'SCUSE ME.
I THINK WE'RE READY TO ORDER. - WELL, UM, I'M SORRY. THAT'S NOT HOW THINGS WORK
IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT. SOMEONE WILL COME TO YOU.

- YES, WE'RE SORRY.
NO--NO PROBLEM. - WHAT WAS THAT?
- WHAT? - WELL, WHERE WAS
BLACK JEFF? - "BLACK JEFF"? - YEAH, BLACK JEFF. I READ SOMEWHERE THAT
WHEN YOU DATE A BIRACIAL GUY, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET
THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS, SO THERE ARE
WHITE-JEFF SITUATIONS, AND THERE ARE
BLACK-JEFF SITUATIONS, AND THAT WAS DEFINITELY
A BLACK-JEFF SITUATION. - OH.

OKAY. - HI, FOLKS,
I'M SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. CAN I GET YOU BOTTLED
OR TAP WATER FOR THIS EVENING? - HOW 'BOUT
I BOTTLE YOUR ASS. AND KICK IT
DOWN THE STAIRS, MAN? WE'VE BEEN
WAITIN' HALF AN HOUR.

FOR ONE O' YOU
MOTHER [bleep]ERS TO SHOW UP! - GOD, I'M SO--
I'M SO SORRY. I'LL GET YOU A BOTTLE. OF OUR FINEST, PREMIUM WATER,
ON THE HOUSE. - THAT'S WHAT I SAID, BITCH!
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - BLACK JEFF.
THAT WAS BLACK JEFF.

- BUT HE WAS
JUST TRYING TO HELP US. - OH, SO, WHITE JEFF? - YES. - GOOD EVENING.
I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU TWO. I AM THE MAITRE D'
HERE AT CHEZ HENRI.

- OH, YES, UH,
WHAT IS IT? - I AM SO SORRY
TO DISTURB YOU BOTH, BUT OUR ESTABLISHMENT
HAS A CERTAIN DRESS CODE, AND MADAME'S, UM,<i> DECOLLETAGE</i>
IS INAPPROPRIATE. - OH, MY GOD.
WE'RE--WE'RE VERY SORRY. WE DIDN'T KNOW
THERE WAS A DRESS CODE. WE'LL CERTAINLY REMEMBER
FOR THE NEXT TIME.

BUT THERE AIN'T GONNA BE
NO NEXT TIME FOR YOU! LOOKIN' AT MY WOMAN,
AND HER--HER CH-- DECO--CHOCKA--"CHOCKALAGE,"
OR WHATEVER YOU SAID, MAN! - IS THERE
A PROBLEM HERE? - OKAY, SEE, IT WAS REALLY
A SIMPLE MISUNDERSTANDING. IT ALL STARTED. WITH THAT MOTHER[bleep]
RIGHT THERE, WHO WAS DISRESPECTIN'
MYSELF AND MY GIRL, BUT WE REALLY
LOVE THIS GUY, AND HE GAVE US
EXCEPTIONAL SERVICE. - WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO
ASK YOU TO LEAVE.

- YOU HAVE TO
ASK ME TO LEAVE? OH, YOU GONNA HAVE TO ASK
THE BLACK MAN TO LEAVE? HUH? ACTUALLY, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO ASK US TO LEAVE. 'CAUSE WE'RE GOING TO SEE
OURSELVES OUT. AND WE AIN'T NEVER
COMIN' BACK AGAIN! THOUGH WE REALLY
APPRECIATE YOUR HELP. [Crashes] OH,<i> LO SIENTO MUCHO.

</I>
WATCH YO ASS, MAN! LET US REIMBURSE YOU
FOR THAT BREAKAGE, OKAY? RIGHT AFTER I BURN
THIS WHOLE PLACE. TO THE MOTHER[bleep] GROUND
WITH EVERYBODY INSIDE OF IT! BY WHICH I MEAN
YOU'RE GOING TO GET. A VERY NEGATIVE REVIEW
ON YELP..